News
If the Cowfolk are doing it, this is where it’s at…
The End Of Summer
Apparently the jet stream has moved again and it is going to start raining again. So is summer over already.
28/07/2012
The Saturday Team lost to Nailsea 3rds by 6 wickets (although it is more fair to say with one ball left). The full scorecard is here. The match repot is below.
29/07/2012
The Sunday 1st Team beat Harptree by 85 runs. The Cowboys hit 229 for 8 as RT2 hit 78 and Dunc hit 43. The foe were all out for 144 in 33.4 overs and Matt D bowled 6.4-1-11-4. The full scorecard is here.
The Sunday 2nd Team lost to Backwell Flax Bourton by 169 runs. BFB scored 263 for 4. Cod Peice bowled 8-1-20-1. The Cowboys were all out for 94 in 28 overs. The full scorecard is here.
Saturday’s Match Report
On arrival at Nailsea we walked from the car park to the pavilion and there in the cricket nets we saw what can only be described as a magnificent Adonis. A beautifully honed physique, an athletic frame, a confident gate. What manor of creature was this? He looked like he could bowl at a million miles an hour and loft sixes with ease. Was he the ultimate ringer forged in the fires of Uranus?
Putting these worries aside the pitch was inspected. It looked firm and flat and there was a stiff one coming straight across its middle. This pitch was not a Badger’s Arse, it was in fact the Stoat’s Bell End (to quote the popular and prophetic Somerset saying). Garnier held forth with a lecture on how drying pitches feel cold even if the air temperature is warm. The rest of the team, not wanting to look like clueless oafs, got down on all fours and fondled the pitch; it indeed felt cold.
Enter Green Gibbo. “Get off the fucking floor you all look like clueless oafs” he said. After his captains innings to bring his merry band home winners last week his chin was held a few degrees higher than normal and he was dressed with coinfidence a little further to the left than normal. “And now I will win the toss”, he announced before losing the toss and getting put into bat. “Bugger” said Green Gibbo, “That is me right out of tactical ideas”. With the Cowboys failing to prove a force with the bat this season bowling the foe out and then chasing a small target is Plan A. Plan B is to stick to Plan A. Getting put into bat had exhausted Green Gibbo’s tactical arsenal.
And so Grove and Green Gibbo strode manfully to the crease, or rather Green Gibbo glided in an ethereal manner and Grove minced rather. Both had a look at the opening bowling: the gentleman of mature years was skilfully drifting it in on the stiff one and the younger buck as wanging it down with gusto. Both batsmen kept one eye on the Adonis to see whether he had started to limber up yet, when the ball went in his direction in the field he certainly seemed to know what he was doing, the power of his bowling must be incredible.
Soon Grove departed after failing to move his feet to the rhythm of the younger gentleman bowler. The very next ball Iggy did exactly the same thing to a very similar ball and was rewarded with a golden duck, from which it took serious cosseting to revive him. Next Wilko was given out due to an “aberration” (see last week’s match report for details of what an “aberration” is and how they should be deployed), although it was apparent on his arrival back at the hutch he thought he had been given out caught behind having not hit it.
Big Nose Pete strode to the crease in a beaky fashion. Coor, what a proboscis! What a hooter! What a conk! In fact although adequate, Pete’s nose is nothing to write home about. As to why he is called Big Nose Pete you would have to ask Green Gibbo. Just as he was getting going the Snoutmeister was stumped for 12. We needed more runs in a hurry and with wickets in hand Angelo went in next and scored a spritely (if slightly consumptive) 27 before being bowled. We had slightly less wickets in hand after 3 were lost in 4 balls; Kahlu and TT getting ducks. Gretch was then run out for a further duck and although Garnier tried to run Green Gibbo out on the last ball the vengeful god of the Eastonites had carried his bat for 81 in another fine Captain’s innings. The Cowboys got 157 for 8 on what they had to admit was probably a 200 pitch.
So how was the Adonis’ bowling? Well, dear reader, he did not bowl. He simply looked chiselled and resplendent in the field for the full 40 overs.
The tea was a fantastic tea in the English Style and an inspiration to us all. Sandwiches made from proper sliced bread and not French sticks or baguettes if you are so inclined. They were of chicken and of tuna and of egg mayonnaise and all manner of proper fillings. There were synthetic cakes in the Sara Lee style. There were mini pasties! Oh, the revelation of a bite sized pasty; so rustic but so dainty. There was, however, definitely no sign of anything as controversial as eggy veg or a Welsh Frittata (which is a Welsh version of an Italian Spanish Omelette).
The Cowboys took to the field to defend their meagre target and the foe got off to a slow start. After Garnier got an early wicket the foe dug in with a more mature gentleman and a kid. Garnier finished on 24 for 1 off his 8 overs, RT1 bowled 23 for 1 off 7 and TT went for 23 off his 8 overs but did not get a wicket.
After having been stumped 1st ball while batting Kahlu also had an odd match bowling. In his first spell he bowled leg spin and was thumped for about 10 runs. Green Gibbo in his finite wisdom took him off. Later Green Gibbo asked him to come back and bowl fast, whereupon Kahlu had the foe in all sorts of bother and he was a little unlucky with streaky edges.
Iggy normally gets under the skin of the foe’s batsmen while fielding at slip, he doesn’t have to do much, he just stands there and gurns at them in the scouse style, occasionally saying “chicken” or “echinacea”. However, this week he needed to be cosseted for the second time in the afternoon as he failed to sledge the more mature gentleman, “He is just too nice” moaned an exasperated Iggy. There, there Iggy.
At drinks the Kid was told to go for it and was eventually caught on 95 by a fine catch from Garnier in the deep who kept his nerve as the ball swirled in the face of the stiff one. It had been a fine and steady innings of great composure… like we all wish we could play.
As Green Gibbo stepped up to bowl the last over the foe needed 6 to win (lets say for arguments sake… I can’t remember how many it was). On the third ball the foe reached 156 for 3 as the more mature gentleman was out for 41 having played a brave inning which consisted of one repeated shot which was a paddled fine of square on the off side: there was the defensive paddle and the slightly less defensive paddle complemented by the genuine edge. The manner of his dismissal was that the batter skied it, it was dropped and then not thrown in very quickly and then as the ball returned to the bowlers end and the foe attempted a third Gibbo ignored the run out at his end and hurled it at Gretch who ran the batsman out at his end. Had the catch been taken the runs would not have counted, however, with a run out on the third the two completed runs counted.
There were now three balls left and the foe needed 2 runs to win. Enter the Adonis. He strode to the crease like a prize fighter. He took his guard and settled into his stance in the most manful manner: legs wide apart, a high confident back lift, a steady head. He looked as though he could simply break wind from his magnificently toned buttocks and get the required two runs. Green Gibbo charged in and bowled him first ball. Now two were needed in two balls. A left hander came in and Green Gibbo charged in to dispatch a second in two balls but let it slip down leg and the foe clipped it for the required 2.
We had lost in a surprisingly low scoring match on a decent wicket. Our batting had not served up enough runs and the foe’s batsmen were allowed to dig in and take them home in a manner that resembled our batting performance last week.
Green Gibbo won man of the match for his bat carrying innings and Garnier’s fine catch won the Cider Moment.
Seconds Vrs. Bechington
CACKK At Skullduggery
CACKK are organising some activities for kids at the tournament. Please do get involved or think of things you could bring to make this area more exciting (outdoor and indoor games, things to do, dressing up clothes, instruments, piratey activities etc).
If you want to run a game or an activity please do!
Or if you can help during the weekend please do! Facepainters and people to run activities and games needed. We also need donations of unwanted kids dressing up for our treasure chest!
Just email Sue on sue.mennear@gmail.com to tell her your plan or PLEASE come to our next CaCKK meeting thursday 2nd August 7.30pm Duke of York pub, St Werburghs upstairs.
So far we have planned….
- activities with a skullduggery piratey theme
- dedicated camping area for families
- footie tournament (for younger and older kids)
- games – netball shooting, its a knockout, table football
- flag making, mural painting and arty crafty stuff
- dance workshops
- treasure hunt
- soft play area for younger kids (CACKK in nappies)
Photo From Facebook
The Easton cowgirls team at the donegal Celtic anti racist world cup- with some extra special recruits from fc united.
The Cowboys Ride Again
21/07/2012
The Saturday Team beat Churchways by 2 wickets. The full scorecard is here.
Ah, Child! Let me tell you of a time when the Cowboys played the away fixture against Churchways, way back before the great flood. The Cowboys were 51 for 5 at drinks and limped to 122. The foe then went out and waved the bat with great flamboyance and gay abandon but in the end they self-destructed and the Cowboys narrowly won the day.
After a run of 6 games which were given to the weather, what is this large shining orb in the sky? What is this strangely pleasant warming sensation on the skin? What incantations had been said to appease Great Green Gibbo? What sacrifices had been made on the alter at The Promised Plough? It wasn’t virgins that is for certain.
Well, it may have been sunny but there was still a badger’s arse where the pitch should have been. Although there had been no rain since Wednesday the Winford pitch was still very soft and beginning to steam in the tropical style. This meant that Great Greeb Gibbo had to win the toss and put the foe into bat which is surprisingly exactly what happened.
Just as the Cowboys had done in the away fixture the foe’s top and middle order self-destructed, faltering to 63 off 7 and then 83 for 9. Garnier was swinging away up the hill and Budge charging down it. Budge struggled a bit with the accumulated cobwebs of the last 6 weeks visibly blowing in the wind. Garnier fared better with 2 wickets and when TT replaced Budge coming down the hill he bowled an incredible 8 overs, 4 maidens, 3 wickets for just 5 runs.
Iggy contributed two stunning slip catches and Angelo, Grove, Toole and Preece held onto more or less regulation catches. The foe’s batsmen did display an odd generosity in that they showed exactly where they were going to provide a catch the ball before they were out. On a pitch where it was proving difficult to get it away the temptation was to hit one and then try and hit the next one harder, lofting it slightly and getting caught.
At drinks Angelo was sent into dry dock for a refit and emerged back onto the field with wicket keeping pads straining at the seams on his trousers and a helmet. The foe’s batsman looked perplexed as Robo Cop moved into position 3 inches from the bat and proceeded to smoke a cigarette from somewhere out of view under his helmet. A few balls later the batsman hammered a short one from Kahlu straight at Angelo’s head but luckily, with a puff of smoke, he took evasive action. The next over Kahlu decided to give up spin and switched to pace, however he didn’t tell anyone and a confused Gibbo hurriedly rearranged the field for the second ball of the over.
This was not the only thing taxing Gibbo’s meagre brain and as the Sun desiccated what little resides in his head he seemed to give up trying to count the overs. Instead he randomly called bowling changes as the scorers waved their arms franticly to indicate that his choices were already bowled out.
The foe put on an epic last wicket stand of 29 which ended in the last over with a run out. They had managed to reach 112 aided by a dropped catch and the fact that LBWs seemed to be proving problematic; or the foe’s umpires were failing to have “aberrations”.
Tea was all a bit foreign with baguettes again and a Spanish omelette which the effete were calling a tortilla. Any sane person would have just called it eggy veg but there is a disturbing level of pretention in the Saturday team. Even one of our spectators (RT2) turned up with a really thick book which nobody saw him open all day. Ooo, like everyone was so impressed. For Gibbo’s sake man, you have come to watch the exciting spectacle that is cricket! Not prance around like a mobile library.
It was with no small amount of terror that Grove and Preece strode manfully to the crease, or at least Preece swaggered in the Shrewsbury style and Grove minced rather. Would they be able to remember how to bat? Would they keep RT2 from his tome? Would the Foe’s decision to have a new ball for both innings make any difference?
Nobody quite knows how Preece managed to get out; he seemed to execute a perfectly decent forward defensive on his first ball and somehow managed to play on. So it was that Great Green Gibbo arrived omnipotently at the crease decreeing “we shall get there in the 39th over” and that Grove should bat like an Amish: that is without style or finesse and certainly without enjoyment. Plain, very plain. Very very plain. Very very very plain. 34 balls later Grove managed to get off the mark and as the crowd went wild Gibbo almost ran him out going for a second. Even with RT2 threatening to open his book and start pretending he can read Gibbo told Grove to keep Amish. In the 16th over Grove snapped and said, “I can’t take any more”. Three balls later Grove was bowled swinging at a straight one that didn’t get up much; he had scored 3 off 54 balls (which according to the League website was a highlight).
Tall Toole then strode to the crease and hit the first ball he faced for 4. “Fancy arsed Tawt”, Grove was heard to mutter under his breath as the foe tittered. The innings trundled on as everyone wilted under the unaccustomed heat and RT2 used his enormous unread tome to provide enough shade for ten people. The pitch started drying out and as it did so the bounce began to disappear and scoring runs became no easier. Even so all was going swimmingly, or at least treading water, until Grove went out to Umpire in the 27th over and gave Toole out LBW in what was described later by the Fines Führer (Garnier) as an “aberration”. Aberration or not this precipitated a collapse of the middle order with Iggy (apparently out to another “aberration” but this time not Grove’s), Angelo and Gretch getting ducks and TT and Kahlu sharing 8 runs.
With 5 overs to go, having given two batsmen out and getting moaned at by the foe for giving wides Grove snapped for the second time in the afternoon and ran away leaving Angelo (who was nursing a suspected broken thumb) to see the match out as umpire. It looked as though the Cowboys had blown it, needing 20 odd off the last 4 and then 6 off the last over; the ball was still proving almost impossible to get away… But what is this? The Foe seems to have miscounted and a new bowler is having to bowl the last over. Gibbo smashed the first ball for a four then hit a single. Garnier, wondering what all the fuss was about and smelling beer hoicked the 3rd ball over the field for 4 runs and it was all over. “Fancy arsed Tawt”, Grove was heard to mutter for a second time in the afternoon.
So it was that Great Green Gibbo’s prophecy was wrong because the Cowboys got the runs in the 40th over and not the 39th. He did hit an unbeaten 36 off 122 balls though and won man of the match, although the extras had top scored in both innings so perhaps they should have won. Iggy’s catching and Garnier’s winning 4 shared the cider moment.
As the sun set and the Cowboys supped beer from the plastic cup at Winford for the last time this season Garnier sneakily nicked RT2’s massive novel, put some ham that was left over from tea between its pages and scoffed it.
Lions
The Odd Case Of Cricket In The Rain
The Saturday Team were rained off again making it 6 lost to the rain on the trot and 7 in total. All of the games in Saturday Div. 3 were cancelled as well, apart from the odd case of Harptree Vrs Avonside which was awarded as a walk over to Avonside because:
“Harptree unable to fulfil the fixture because of bereavement.”
This means that the Cowboys and Stanton Drew have closed the gap and are joint leaders on 32 point with the unfortunate (and it appears very honest) Harptree.
The Sunday 1st Team lost to Stother & Pitt. The Cowboys batted first and hit 153 all out of 39.2 overs. The foe knocked the runs off in 35.1 overs for the loss of 7 wickets.
The Sunday 2nd Team also played but the result has not yet reached this parish.
Nothing Ever Changes
This cartoon was published in The Bristol Magpie in July 1891. It was found in the nether regions of Bristol Central Reference Library.
Floodlit Cricket
We are planning to send a team to this. If you are interested in going contact Uberpops or the webgimp.


